The 75 Oneself Quotes That Will Speak To Your Heart

Published on 2020-06-17 04:06:00 Category:Best Quotes


Beryl Dov Quote - Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!...
1. Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband.
2. Tapestry [10w] Life's a tapestry of mystery and miracles quilted by God.
3. Virginia Haiku "Bowl of chili for me.She'll have the Cheesy Western.Both with, add a slab.
4. A Poem Must Have an Accomplice If you cannot bamboozle the reader into becoming a willing accomplice to your artifice and collusion the poem won't fly.
5. The Tragedy of Forgetfulness When you stop loving someone,in order to heal your memory of them begins to fade.Unfortunately, the good ones fade with the bad and suddenlyyears of your life have disappeared.
Beryl Dov Quote - Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet...
6. Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry.
7. Mmm Mmm Good Gimmick Campbell's Soup announced todayit's introducing 'QWERTY' soupfor our more computer literate children.Who are they kidding?They're just relabeling the old Alphabet Soup.
8. The AP Stylebook is Useless {Couplet} I can't abbreviate abbreviation nor know how to initialize an acronym,I can find the contraction for contraction nor the précis for a homonym.
Beryl Dov Quote - Scientific Discovery [10w] The greatest scien...
9. Scientific Discovery [10w] The greatest scientific discoveries were madelooking at the overlooked.
10. How to Save the World [10w] When true love floods in, it could float an ark.
11. Women Kissing :-)*(-: Women kissing publicly it has all the sincerity of an Israeli soldier hugging a Palestinian secretly checking for an explosive vest.* ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿’̿’̵͇̿̿з=(இಠ ᴈ muah εఠയ=/̵͇̿̿/̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿*自
12. but,=""soft!=""what=""light=""through=""yonder=""window=""breaks?"=""[10w]="""Shut the fuck up! I think we got a burglar.
13. Sometimes God is Drunk [10w] Satan's sudden appearance means God is on a drinking binge.
14. New Year's Resolutions New Year's resolutions shouldn't be about doing new things;it should be about stopping to do the shitty things you're already doing.
15. Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face.
Beryl Dov Quote - Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker...
16. Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you.
Beryl Dov Quote - you=""are="&qu...
17. you=""are=""what=""eat"=""[10w]=""That's why I've become a pizza with a pussy topping.
18. Hate Recycle Bin When you empty your hate recycle binit frees up more memory to write even better poetry.Just try it and tell me this isn't true!
Beryl Dov Quote - Breathe inhale.exhalerepeatThat should solve...
19. Breathe inhale.exhalerepeatThat should solve 90% of your problems.For the other 10% ask your local Rabbi.
Beryl Dov Quote - Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunit...
20. Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunity knocksthe Chinese make knock-offs.
21. The Road to Hell The road to hell is paved with 16 in. x 16 in. Red Brickface Concrete Step Stones.Only $2.97 each.Always in Stock atThe Home Depot.
22. Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity.
Beryl Dov Quote - Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patte...
23. Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold.
Beryl Dov Quote - Wretched [10w] Intelligence without compassio...
24. Wretched [10w] Intelligence without compassion is an invitation to a wretched life.
25. Rotaryrotatory In a universe composed wholly of revolving doors we'll have no need for gatekeepers or tipping doormen at Christmas.
Beryl Dov Quote - Reckless vs. Diet [10w] I live too recklessl...
26. Reckless vs. Diet [10w] I live too recklessly to worry about low carb diets.
27. What Teenage Boys Do On Their Computer All Day [10w] ctrl alt delete ex-girlfriendcut paste Penelope Cruzpost Facebook
28. Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling.
29. Wisconsin State Motto Forward.Leading the nation in drunk driving and Cheesehead hats.
30. Rooftop Poetry Sing poetry from rooftopslike a muzzein' s call for prayer.
31. Break All the Rules of Poetry Place no limits on your poetry.Live a little.Break all the fucking rules!If it comes deep from the wellsprings of your imagination,the woolgathering of dreamers ~it is poetry ~no matter what anyone says.
Beryl Dov Quote - Too Beautiful for Words [10w] + [10w] When...
32. Too Beautiful for Words [10w] + [10w] When nature presents us with miracles too beautiful for words,it is either a mountain, a beach, or a baby.
33. Patience [10w] Patience is the most technologically advanced form of energy efficiency.
Beryl Dov Quote - A Moment Before Impact [10w] The deer's...
34. A Moment Before Impact [10w] The deer's eyes were moonstones, reflecting back my car's headlights.
Beryl Dov Quote - Sumerian Haiku Sumerian whoregrabs my wedge...
35. Sumerian Haiku Sumerian whoregrabs my wedge, says: 'I love aman in cuneiform.
36. The Phenomenon of Life {Couplet} The potter's some man of clay who's molding clay,a robot making an automaton;Every day we recreate ourselves from what bricks we're made,how wondrous life's phenomenon!
37. Sixty is the New Fifty The good news is sixty is the new fifty.The bad news is twenty is the new ten.
Beryl Dov Quote - Nomad {Couplet} When your roots grow from...
38. Nomad {Couplet} When your roots grow from the outside in,home becomes whatever place you're in.
39. Rain Check I'm a shitty typist and speller, I hunt and peck,I wrote, "i LeFt mY sWeEtToOtH iN yOuR nEcKoF tHe WoOdS, cOuLd YoU pLeAsE bRiNgIt BeCk."Surprisingly, you did,and left."rAiN cHeCk.
40. Bonjour [10w] You're more obscure than first we met,"uttered with regret.
41. Hemidemisemiquaver [10w] The composer evened the score by ending in a hemidemisemiquaver.
42. Babel [10w] Building a tower to reach God doesn't require any bricks.
Beryl Dov Quote - What Children See [10w] "A spider...
43. What Children See [10w] "A spider is an octopus who lives in the desert.
44. Retail [10w] The first and last sale of the day are best.
45. Suicide Note [10w] "Don't ask why I committed suicide.Question why everybody doesn’t.
46. Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible.
Beryl Dov Quote - North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallsl...
47. North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallslook spiffy at a weddingor a funeral.
Beryl Dov Quote - Il Principe 2015: Lesson 2 ~ Shit If you...
48. Il Principe 2015: Lesson 2 ~ Shit If you're going to run for public office,you must first scrape the shit off your shoe,or the stink will follow you.
49. Campbell's Soup: M'm! M'm! Good!... ...even though our products have more sodium than the Dead Sea.
Beryl Dov Quote - Eye of God [10w] The Hubble-Universe is a...
50. Eye of God [10w] The Hubble-Universe is a microchip in the Eye of God.
Beryl Dov Quote - Genocide [10w] Genocide is the runaway bride...
51. Genocide [10w] Genocide is the runaway bride once death becomes the bridegroom.
52. Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths.
53. Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate.
54. Cruel Love [10w] Cruel love helps turn out excellent,competitive, cutthroat, dog-eat-dog children.
Beryl Dov Quote - Ars Poetica: Write Poetry on a Black Slate...
55. Ars Poetica: Write Poetry on a Black Slate Poetry should be written on a black slate of imagination,the poet artfully allowing images to emerge from the dark.
56. Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls.
57. Err 2 [10w] To err is human, to make it a habit, assinine.
58. Why We Need Smart People [10w] We need smart people to call other smart people morons.
59. Creation "I shake my fist and there's bang.Stars sift like sand through my fingers;each swirl of my wrist a galaxy,every kiss imbued with a bit of me.
60. Marriage Advice [10w] Marry a man above youand a woman beneath you.
61. Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right.
Beryl Dov Quote - Read vs. Write If you want to know about...
62. Read vs. Write If you want to know about life second hand, read;if you want to experience life directly, write.
63. Perfect Sex [10w] Perfects sex balances the conflicting pleasures of submission and mastery.
64. Barnum & Bailey Circus: The Greatest Show on Earth... ...when you can't afford Cirque du Soleil.
65. Spontaneous Gift Giving [10w] Learn to give gifts spontaneously accompanied by a love note.
66. Tangled [10w] Love becomes a tangle of roots submerged in common soil.
67. Love is a Gamble [10w] Love's a gamble ~ better lose than never spin the wheel.
68. Delusion vs. Truth Delusions are what really set you free;the truth is a choke hold.
69. Please Don't Commemorate Me Just Yet [10w] The living are only commemorated when they're at death's door.
70. Definition of Haiku in Haiku Due to brevityyour lame observations seemdeeper than they are.
71. In and Out [10w] Our infant blanket in the externalization of our mother's womb.ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ Intruth, we should be married under,sling our newborn babiesinand after deathbe shrouded in the same infant blanketwe were taken home from the hospital in.
Beryl Dov Quote - Minus One [10w] We more people we fuckthe...
72. Minus One [10w] We more people we fuckthe more lonely we become.
73. Missed Childhood [10w] + {Couplet} Adolescence spent upon a cross,regrettably is childhood's loss.
74. Meaning of Life {Couplet} Life's but the love and laughter we've amassed,the friendships forged that shall outlastpossessions, station and renown,the make-up palette of a clown.
Beryl Dov Quote - Poetry and Love [10w] Poetry and love are...
75. Poetry and Love [10w] Poetry and love are two faces of the same coin.

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