45 Silly Quotes to Explore and Share
Published on 2020-07-02 20:09:00 Category：Best Quotes
1. I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself.
2. What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love.
3. I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love.
4. She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter.
5. With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?
6. I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some.
7. If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?
8. I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating.
9. Part of me really wants to believe that hope is entirely available to all of us. We don't have to embrace it. It would be sentimental and silly to say that we all need it, but it is absolutely available to all of us.
10. I want to spend less time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me.
11. I want to sprint into her open arms, but I run as fast as two shoes tied together and thrown over a telephone wire. I’m like Roger Bannister, now that he’s in a wheelchair.
12. A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you.
13. I once saw two endangered species about to have sex, but I had to put a stop to it because I suspected one of them of being a prostitute.
14. I don’t mind waiting rooms. I’m waiting on the love of my life, so I may as well have a seat, right?
15. What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.
16. If you approach Cannes with a sense of humor, nothing is that bad. You have to take it for what it is; otherwise, it's silly.
17. Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.
18. Love is the only gift that’s acceptable to give away as soon as you get it.
19. Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die.
20. You know, people ask me. They say 'Dan, three years later do you really want to be drawing cat whiskers on your face?' but they don't understand. The cat whiskers, they come from within.
21. I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.
22. Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.
23. If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.
24. Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy.
25. I think about her sometimes, and wonder what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. I suppose I could just stalk her Facebook page like a normal person, but that doesn’t seem as romantic as surveillance and GPS tracking.
26. I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
27. As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves.
28. My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time.
29. She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love.
30. A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.
31. Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime.
32. Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love.
33. I am the three minutes of 180 seconds, and I don’t do refills. I’m a lover, not a farmer.
34. You can’t buy love, it’s true. However, I am offering mine for rent. Buy one year and get the next six months at half price.
35. My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!
36. Um...is that thing tame?"Frank said.The horse whinnied angrily."I don't think so,"Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.
37. I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.
38. A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you.
39. The sides of buildings should be like the tops of lakes. I’d fish through your window hoping to catch a smile.
40. I belong, and my penis, it be long.
41. I am the broth of love. Make soup to me.
42. I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover.
43. A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.
44. I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.
45. Comparing penis sizes is a much more nuanced and sophisticated way to determine who’s right than something as clunky and uncouth as a debate.
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